For most of my life I have longed for something great...for something beyond me...beyond the life I was living day to day. I never seemed to want what everyone else around me wanted and I always felt that I was never satisfied by the things that seem to satisfy others. I believed that I was crazy for feeling this way and that I should just learn to accept my reality and find a way to be content with it. Who was I to long for greatness? I was just Vanessa. Greatness...I came to believe...was reserved for 'special' people. I was just meant to be one of the mediocre masses just floating through life and making the best of it.
This belief forced me to give in and give up on ever trying to be more. At a very early age I gave up on my dreams and learned accept my current reality. But the longing never left and continued to burn deep inside.
I think that many times through the years I tried to satisfy that yearning by doing things that would provide me with temporary excitment and thrills to distract me from the reality that I desired more. The distraction worked for a while but after several years, even those behaviors stopped providing gratification of any kind and the emptiness persisted.
Since I've been on this journey of looking inward, nourishing my soul and trying to get to know myself all over again I've realized that I've been very wrong for very long. Not only have I realized that the desire for more will never go away, I have also realized that it won't go away because it knows better than me. I've come to realize that the burning desire inside of me knows that I am in fact meant for greatness. We all are. It is not something that is meant for a chosen few. It is something that WE must choose for ourselves. And in choosing it, we must then believe it is possible and pursue it without hesitation or doubt!
This is the space that I am currently in. I have finally come to the point where I am no longer willing to ignore the voice inside me that has been screaming for more. I am no longer willing to accept that it is not possible for me to acheive each and every dream that my mind can conceive. I am no longer willing to allow my fears of failure, judgement, rejection or denial stand in the way of my acheivement of ANYTHING. From the space I am currently in I KNOW that I am ready, willing and able to do anything my heart desires. Every fiber of my being is now pushing me forward and not allowing me to settle for anything less than amazing. I now KNOW that what I thought was impossible is not only possible...but it is in fact...alreay mine. I only have to go and claim it.
I also know now that every moment of my life until now has been preparing me for THIS moment. I know that every difficulty and blessing that I have experienced ahs been building in me the wisdom, skills, drive, perseverence, etc. that I would need to capitalize on this moment and catapult myself into a realm of success that I would have never before dreamed was possible for me.
I have made up my mind. I am moving full steam ahead into the realm of all of my wildest dreams. I am ready to encounter whatever the journey may bring and to use every experience as an oppportunity for further growth.
I will not be deterred. I have a vision. And I'm making it happen!
Watch me...
Much love...
Vanessa...in progress. (VIP)
